{"id":5160,"date":"2022-09-08T14:28:58","date_gmt":"2022-09-08T19:28:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dontpanicdothis.com\/?p=5160"},"modified":"2023-03-08T02:22:13","modified_gmt":"2023-03-08T07:22:13","slug":"healing-anxious-attachment","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dontpanicdothis.com\/healing-anxious-attachment\/","title":{"rendered":"Healing Anxious Attachment: 5 Steps"},"content":{"rendered":"

Healing an anxious attachment style is important for maintaining healthy relationships. Anxious attachment is an insecure attachment style often stemming from inconsistent parenting during childhood. In this article, we\u2019ll discuss how to go about healing anxious attachment to enjoy healthier interpersonal relationships.<\/p>\n

Healing Anxious Attachment Style in Relationships<\/strong><\/h2>\n

It\u2019s six o\u2019clock pm on a Wednesday.<\/p>\n

You sent your crush a risky text four hours ago and have been left on \u201cRead\u201d since.<\/p>\n

Knots start to tangle in your stomach as your breathing becomes strained.<\/p>\n

\u201d<\/p>\n

Did I go too far? S***, I blew it. <\/em>They liked me and I ruined everything! They must be texting someone else \u2013 their ex, probably\u2026 or someone new? Someone better looking!? Should I text them a \u201cJk?\u201d Or maybe a peach emoji? What if they didn\u2019t see my first two texts? Okay, I\u2019ll just send another over\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

– Anxious texters everywhere<\/p>\n

If the above scenario sounds completely crazy to you, good news \u2013 you probably don\u2019t have an anxious attachment style in relationships.<\/p>\n

If the above scenario feels eerily relatable \u2013 well, I may be able to help\u2026<\/p>\n

What is an Anxious Attachment Style?<\/strong><\/h2>\n

An \u201canxious attachment style\u201d is one of four main attachment styles that guide the way we interact with others in our interpersonal (especially romantic) relationships. It often stems from inconsistent or insensitive parenting from a young age. <\/p>\n

People with an anxious attachment style in relationships often feel like something bad will happen between them and their partners. They may be afraid that they are not loved or will be abandoned. <\/strong>Anxious attachments are characterized by patterns of insecurity, poor self-esteem, and difficulty with intimacy. This may not only impact one\u2019s relationships, but also one\u2019s work life and mental health.<\/p>\n

5 Steps to Healing an Anxious Attachment Style<\/strong><\/h2>\n

It can be difficult to heal an anxious attachment style because it\u2019s a learned pattern of behavior with roots as deep as childhood. However, there are some ways we can go about healing anxious attachment to overcome the fear of abandonment:<\/p>\n

Step 1: Introspection (Why am I Like this?)<\/strong><\/h3>\n

A bit of introspection can go a long way here. Take some time to think back about your childhood and past relationships \u2013 romantic and otherwise. Anxious attachment often stems from our earliest child-caregiver relationships, but toxic relationships later in life can also play a role. Have you felt hurt, uncared for, or abandoned in the past? Try to identify the cause of these feelings, and remind yourself that this is a new person who has (hopefully) given you no reason not to trust them.<\/p>\n

Healing an anxious attachment style becomes much easier when we understand where it is coming from.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Step 2: Don’t Let Emotions Guide Your Decisions<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Remember our earlier example<\/strong><\/a> of someone with an anxious attachment style texting their crush? Yeah, the crazy quirky one.<\/p>\n

Jokes aside, this is very common for someone with an anxious attachment style in relationships. The problem is, people with anxious attachment styles tend to be more emotional than their secure and avoidant counterparts. Emotions have a tendency to override logic, causing us to do and say things that we later regret.<\/p>\n

Rather than rapid-fire texting their crush, the person in our example should<\/em> have taken a moment to think logically about the situation\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

Perhaps their crush:<\/p>\n